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“theyr’e ah... really hard pair to hold on to.......”
The video image of a blond smiling woman perhaps in her forties dressed in chaps, boots, heavy winter coat, and a cream colored stetson would not let go and seeing it once, twice, or three times simply was not enough. The video had been shot in what looked to be a cattle pen while rain came down in droves and cowboys on horses navigated through the mud.
“Maybe from your end Jhonny” an unseen male voice answered after which the video cut out.
The small video was like a link into an unknown world for Kelsey Donovan, far from the suburbs of Minnesota where she had lived her entire life.
“how are you doing?....” Kelsey’s aunt Margaret had been helping to clean out the large old house after her parents untimely death just two weeks before. She saw the frozen video on the television screen and looked concerned.
“who is this woman?” Kelsey asked bluntly
Margaret, clearly concerned sat in one of the large overstuffed chairs across from her niece.
“her name is Jhonny Donovan and she is your biological mother”
“what??” Kelsey choked out almost unable to comprehend what she had just heard “then who raised me? Whose house is this?” She was almost in tears now but Margaret had never been one for mincing words
David and your father Hade are brothers.
“how did I end up here, where are my real parents?”
Margaret looked almost hesitant before speaking “Jhonny died in an accident two years ago. Your father and five brothers live out on the Stone Creek ranch up in Montana”
“how many of our family know all this?” Kelsey demanded almost sick
“not many” Margaret answered “your parents moved soon after Hade and Jhonny gave you up and didn’t keep in touch. Everyone assumed they had finally been able to adopt and didn’t question it”
“why did they give me up?”
“they were both young, still high school age. Hade was preparing to take over the ranch because no one but our younger brother Tobin had any intentions of staying and our father was fighting a loosing battle to cancer. Jhonny was right there helping him”
“you told her??”
Both women looked up to see Eric, The oldest of the Donovan clan step into the living room.
“she had the right to know”
Eric just shook his head “so what? Kelsey just heads up to the ranch and says here I am? That can’t happen”
“Why?” Kelsey asked
“first off you are the spitting image of Jhonny blond hair and all, second it killed Hade giving you up. He forgot about you to keep from going insane”
“did anyone in this entire scenario think about me???”
“would it have been fair to keep a baby when there was absolutely no time to devote to it?” Eric shot out and they both knew that was his answer “do not ever go out to the ranch, I promise you will not find what you are looking for”
Kelsey went back to work stuffing items in boxes without speaking a word.
“you did hear me?” Eric asked
“loud and clear” Kelsey answered wishing she could just burn the house down and everything with it. She sat down in a heap once he left and just let out the tears that had spilled freely for the last two weeks.
“I’m sorry Kelsey but you had the right to know”
“don’t ever be sorry, I don’t think anyone else would have said anything”
“what are you going to do?”
“let them try and keep me away”
“Eric is right, don’t expect Hade to send out a welcoming comittee. More than likely he’ll tell you to get off the ranch”
“I don’t care”
Margaret just smiled knowing she would have done the same thing.
They worked for the rest of the day in a lighter mood chatting and laughing and by the end of the week things were organized. Family members had claimed what they wanted, Margaret was taking care of things that would be sold, and everything else had been donated to the local thrift store. Kelsey would not be returning to college but heading west to Montana which frightened her more than anything. She had only made her plans aware to Margaret but suspected that her uncle Eric might have already called her father and warned him.
After a day's trip and an overnight stay in a Helena motel Kelsey made the half hour drive up to the ranch finding the big wooden arch marking the Stone Creek ranch. She drove down the snow covered dirt road looking for a big log home on the left hand side pulling up in front of the house and stepping out of the truck just as a young sandy blond haired man dressed to the hilt for cold weather right down to his worn leather boots stepped out on to the porch. He noticed her immediately taking a very good look at her.
“I’m looking for Tobin Donovan, do you know where I can find him?”
The young man didn’t answer, simply muttered an explative and ran back into the house.
“Dad” Jake Donovan shouted coming to a near skidding stop at the large wooden table where his brothers were just getting up from breakfast. His father had gone back upstairs but the house was designed so that the area above the dining and living room were open to the roof. All the upstairs doors could be seen from where he was.
“what?” Hade asked coming out of his room and shutting the door
“there's a woman outside that looks just like mom and she's asking for Tobin”
That bit of news sparked Hade into action causing him to take the stairs two at a time and run for the front door.
“let me talk to her” Hade instructed everyone
“who is she?” Jake asked
“I’ll tell you later” he answered back opening the front door and slamming it.
Kelsey jerked a little as the front door to the house slammed and a large man of about five foot nine stood on the porch. His hair light brown in color and slightly wavy came down to just past his ears. His stature however was imposing and it was impossible not to know that he was very angry.
“you were told not to come here.” he said stepping off the porch and meeting her face to face.
“do you really hate me that much?” Kelsey asked refusing to back down, she was angry and hurt herself. He wouldn’t be scaring her so easily.
“I don’t hate you, but you are not welcome here”
“what have I done that is so terrible?”
“just get the hell out of here” He shouted “you were not told to come in the first place”
“because of this big secret everyone decided to keep I never knew my mother. I never knew you, I never knew this place or that I even have brothers. Forget about your damn guilt for once you bastard” Kaylie shouted back walking to the drivers side of her car and slamming the door. When she started it and headed in the opposite direction of the gate he shouted after her.
“where the hell do you think you are going?”
She stopped the car and looked back “to find Tobin, I should have just done that instead of coming here”
“No, you are not”
“Watch me” she shot back spinning out her tires before heading off
Hade, even angrier now ran back into the house meeing several pair of curious eyes who had apparently been watching and listening to the whole exchange on the porch.
“get to work, those cattle aren’t going to wait for us” he shouted continuing on to the mud porch at the back end of the kitchen and yanking his jacket off it's peg. He started up his big black dodge without even waiting for it to warm up and sped off to find Kelsey.
It wasn’t long before she spotted a big truck in her rear view mirror and knew that it wouldn’t take long for her father to catch up but she wasn’t stopping unless.... he went four wheeling alongside her and blocked the road in front of her, which he did.
There was no going around him.
“turn around and go back” he shouted climbing out of the truck's cab
“go to hell” she answered back rolling down her window
“Fine” Hade muttered climbing back into the truck to get some rope. It was then they could both hear the diesel of another truck approaching from behind Kelsey's car.
“get in Kelsey” Tobin shouted from the open passenger window of his white dodge “hurry”
Kelsey exited her car grabbing only her purse and sprinted for the truck
“what are you doing?” Hade shouted running after her
“she's your daughter like it or not Hade. I’m going to teach her to ride a horse first off and then I’ll take her out to see some cattle” Tobin answered driving away.
“the hell you will.........” Hade shouted along with a good amount of expletives that were lost in the wind.
Tobin had never done anything like this. As the youngest of the Donovan brothers they had always gotten along fine with Tobin taking care of the guests that came to the ranch and Hade taking care of the cattle.
“I’m assuming you are Tobin” Kelsey said after a few minutes of bumping and jarring over back ranch roads
“I am” he answered “I wish I could have found you first. You have always been a very touchy subject with Hade, he doesn’t talk about you and no one here knows who you are.”
“except for the fact that I look like my mother”
Tobin expelled a breath “everyone here loved Johnny, she was a lot of fun to be around, so yes you are going to get a lot of different reactions from people”
“Maybe I shouldn’t have come”
“you have as much right to be here as your five brothers and everyone else and apparently Hade doesn’t shake you at all”
“has he always been like this?”
“not before you went away and it only got worse when your mother passed on” Tobin answered pointing up to an enormos lodge constructed mostly of logs and sporting large first and second story windows at the front end. We live in a house off to the side of the lodge and host guests year round. There are fifteen rooms in the lodge and outer cabins for people to stay in”
Kelsey was amazed “what do they do while they are here?”
“anything from going out to take care of the cattle to riding horses to simply relaxing. It's their choice”
Tobin pulled in behind the lodge shutting off the truck and climbing out. She followed him into a back door that went directly into an office.
“didn’t get to see you this morning” A beautiful brunette with her hair in a ponytail said from the desk where she was sitting. Tobin leaned down to give her a small kiss and turned back to Kelsey.
“Chelsea this is our niece Kelsey”
Chelsea smiled immediatley standing and giving Kelsey a big hug “I’m so glad you came, I don’t care what Hade says you are welcome here”
Kelsey liked the woman immediatley and felt a bit of relief for the first time since she’d set foot on the ranch.
“I’ll give you a quick tour of the lodge and then we are going to head out for the barn.”
“sounds good to me” Kelsey was agreeable to anything at this point
Hade’s truck pulling up short outside and skidding to a stop changed things though.
“I’ll be giving the tour” Chelsea put in “looks like Hade and Tobin are going to have to talk”
Kelsey was just glad she wouldn’t be a part of it and followed behind Chelsea to leave the office out into the reception area when Hade burst in the back door. She flipped him off just before exiting which had Tobin holding him back.
“Can you blame her you big mule?” Tobin said giving him a good shove
“you know exactly how I feel about this Tobin”
“so you and Johnny made a mistake twenty three years ago. That's over. As far as I am concerned she has just as much right to be here as any of your five boys.”
Hade shook his head “no it isn’t over, she’s very much alive and she looks exactly like Johnny. I can’t look at her every day without going crazy”
“then don’t look at her she’ll be here”
“I want her off the ranch”
“damn your pigheaded guilt Hade, go and shove it where the sun don’t shine”
Hade calmed down and took a deep breath “there are things you don’t know Tobin, things I’ve never told anyone”
“well whatever it was it didn’t destroy Johnny”
“thank the lord for that”
“Hade I’m not backing down on this, she’ll be fine here”
“Fine little brother, you’ve just drawn a line”
“you drew it and I don’t give a damn” Tobin shot back
“go to hell” Hade shot back leaving the office and slamming the door
Tobin found Chelsea and Kelsey at one of the old wodden tables eating breakfast and sat down with them.
“How did everything go?” Chelsea asked
“as expected. It's a good thing I’m just as strong as he is Kelsey, it's probably not a good thing to try his temper”
“Sorry, I couldn’t help it. But I won’t do it again” Kelsey said in between bites while Chelsea just laughed
“you too dear” he said causing her to laugh harder “soon as you are done we are going to go saddle a couple of horses”
“I don’t have any boots”
“you can get a pair from the gift shop for now but as soon as you get the hang of riding I’ll probably have you working with Travis riding tail on the rides that we do for the guests”
“I’ll do whatever you need me to do”
Tobin and Chelsea both chuckled “tell me that after an entire day in the saddle”
After finding a nice pair of boots that fit Kelsey followed her uncle out to a pasture behind the barn where he handed her a halter and pointed to a dark brown mare standing among four other horses.
“her name is Sadie you need to put this on and lead her back”
Kelsey wasn’t sure if he was serious but one look told her he meant every word. “I’ll give you a tip, don’t run at her and put the halter on from the nose back”
The horses ran to the other end fence line as Kelsey closed the gate but she knew he was testing her and wanted to do well. He never said it would be easy.
Fortunatley the fenced in area was relatively small meaning she didn’t have to walk far everytime the horses shifted.
“don’t let her move, single her out and get your arms up” Tobin shouted as the horses began to move again. “now walk up to her slowly”
The horse nickered letting Kelsey know that she didn’t like this at all, she'd rather be with the others munching on grass.
“now, you need to touch her gently starting at the muzzle and talk to her then gently slip the halter up” Tobin continued
The mare shot her head up but Kelsey was patient and waited until she calmed then tried again this time succeding and buckling it in place. She led the mare into the barn through the gate that Tobin opened.
“you’ll get used to that and you’ll be doing it almost every day” Tobin explained “tie her and we’ll get the saddles”
They rode out after Tobin's thorough instruction on how to saddle a horse and headed up a trail up to the left of the barn. The sun was shining now highlighting the mixture of mud and snow on the ground from several other horses walking on the trail before them and it was cold but this was the way of life on a ranch. After a half hour Kelsey could see a line of horses ahead of them along with one of the ranch hands ahead of them.
“That's Travis Harper, he leads all the trail rides out here”
“how many does he do?”
“Sometimes two a day, but that's rare. It just depends on how many want to ride”
Kelsey was already becoming sore but was not about to complain. She’d get used to this and some how become better at riding a horse too. She was terrible with the reins and often confused the horse without trying to.
“how long has the Stone Creek ranch been here?” one of the guests asked
“Cooper Donovan first settled this land in 1892 and it's been added on to bit by bit ever since.”
“so it’s the same name as the present owners” another person asked
“yes maam” Travis answered “The Donovans have a history of having mostly male children”
The group of ten riders was slightly amused by that fact and it was then that Travis noticed both of them nodding slightly. Something about him was immediatley attractive to Kelsey but she didn’t know what exactly. He wore a black cowboy hat warm ranch coat, jeans, and worn boots like everyone else but looked like he was very serious.
They continued on for the rest of the ride and waited for the guests to take care of their horses before riding into the barn themselves. Kelsey didn’t have to be told how to remove the saddle, it was just the reverse of what she’d done to put it on and then carried her saddle to the large tack room and put it back where she'd gotten it from.
“Hey Kelsey meet me up at the lodge when you are finished here I have something to take care of” Tobin shouted into the tack room
“okay” Kelsey answered suddenly a little nervous. She wasn’t so crazy about being left in the barn alone with Travis but went back out to take the saddle pad off the horses back along with the halter and bridle.
“you made a big mistake coming here, Hade’s been through enough already”
“you think I haven’t heard that one aready?” Kelsey shot back heading for the tack room again “the problem is he’s too pigheaded to consider my feelings. Looks like you are too”
She went inside the room to put everything away and nearly colided with him coming out
“I’m not pigheaded, I just happen to agree with him”
“I don’t care, I’m not going anywhere” she said brushing past him until he grabbed her arm. Insinctively Kelsey stomped the heel of her boot on his toes and slapped his cheek causing him to holler and let go. She ran to the front of the barn.
“you won’t be treated any different than anyone else here, if you can’t keep up then you will be left behind. I have no time for greenies”
“do your worst pig” Kelsey had the final say before leaving the barn and stopping for a minute to try and control her anger.
“who are you?” a young blond man sat atop a black and white paint several feet from her between the barn and lodge. Kelsey been so involved with what happened that she didn’t even notice him.
“I can’t tell you that” she’d love to more than anything but wasn’t stupid enough to start a war “you will have to ask your dad”
“then why do you look like my mother?”
“I think you already know the answer to that Jake” She was surprised she'd remembered what little Margaret had let on of her brothers “but you know your father and you know why I can’t say any more than that”
Jake knew she was right but this was going to drive him nuts.
A little later before dinner Tobin drove Kelsey out to retrieve her car and she was provided a room in his enormous log home in a wing set aside for those who worked on this end of the ranch. The only problem was that Travis resided right down the hall. She’d just have to avoid him as much possible.
She was up early the next morning even before she heard Travis and a couple others closing their doors and heading up to the lodge for breakfast. Even for early March it was still biting cold outside causing Kelsey to wonder how everyone dealt with being outside all winter.
She ate at a long table in the large dining room listening to the lighthearted conversation around her which centered on the calving season this year and how much longer it might go on. Already they had lost a few calves and they had to use chains with a number of births.
“Kelsey” Tobin spoke up out of the blue as a young man and woman sat at the end of the table “my son Tate and daughter Kaydee, they work cattle over with Hade and the boys”
Tate and Kadee nodded clearly noticing Kelsey’s resemblance to her mother but didn’t question any further.
After breakfast Tobin provided Kelsey with a bib and good winter coat. They headed to the barn but today he didn’t give a word of instruction. She had to catch and saddle Sadie on her own.
“there are times Travis will be taking people out who want to spend a day working cattle” Tobin informed her as they mounted “that's where we are headed”
“how many cattle?”
“probably around a thousand head and that’s not including all the calves that are coming”
“how much of this kind of work did my mom do?”
“well put it this way, when she wasn't tied to the house by babies or housework she was right out in the thick of things. It wasn’t uncommon to see her with one of the boys when they were only a year and a half to two years riding in front of her. The rest of them were on their own horse when they were about three.”
“do you think she would have been mad about my coming back if she were still around?”
Tobin shook his head looking directly at her “no, not at all. In fact she’d be crying happy tears”
They heard hoofbeats racing up behind them and turned to see a young man of about thirteen riding up behind them then slowing to ride beside them.
“morning” he greeted getting a clear look at Kelsey
“thought you were supposed to be out with Wade checking cows”
“I took a short detour. Jake couldn’t stop talking about how much she looks like mom”
“Kelsey this is Jack, the youngest of the Donovans”
“how do you do?” Jack aknowleged her very politely by tipping his hat
“very well, thank you” Kelsey replied impressed by his manners
“you should come ride with us”
“I’m not really sure what we are doing right now”
“tell you what Jack you ride ahead and we’ll meet up with you”
“okay” Jack smiled and nudged his horse into a run
“I don’t see a lot of young men like that”
“Johnny was big on manners, you’ll see that a lot in your brothers”
“where are we headed exactly?”
“I think we’ll be safe riding out with Jack and Wade, Hade is in the middle of fixing a broken snowmobile judging by all the cursing”
“so how do you keep track of everyone here?”
Tobin took a small black radio out of a zippered side pocket on his coat and showed it to her “everyone uses these, even Travis.
Kelsey nodded understanding and followed her uncle over a snowy muddy trail that led to an old but expansive barn.
